How to deal... with Valentine's Day

It’s about to be Valentine’s Day 2021. I don’t hear as much about Valentine’s Day anymore. Is that just me? I remember people having a pretty hard time with it, but maybe that’s because I was younger. Maybe people have found other special days in which they would rather place their energy. February is Black History Month after all. There’s a lot of celebrating and remembering to do. But if the smell of those candy hearts is started to get nauseating, this is for you.

It’s a day

I mentioned this in the December Holiday’s blog-- you don’t have to adopt the meaning that 2/14 tends to hold. It’s just a day. This year, a Sunday; a notoriously tricky day that social media has attempted to make better by #-ing it sundayfunday. Let the Sunday be that difficult transitional day that it is. This day does give you the opportunity to practice sitting with your discomfort. After that, feel free to ignore a holiday. They’re symbols.

The Pandemic

I write this in January 2021. The vaccine is rolling out, but we are not near the point that kids will be passing out homemade cupcakes in classrooms for holidays (I don’t think that happens anymore, anyway-- allergies). Valentine’s day can push you to find a sexual or romantic partner. We may be lucky at this point, virtual dating has been “normalized” over the past several months. If you’re coupled, you may want to go out to your annual dinner date, but of course, that may be tricky this year. That’s something you get to mourn. It may feel silly, but we’ve been grieving (for more than just the pandemic) a lot this year. Add it to the list.


The common argument, especially by those who are not in love with Valentine’s Day, is that it’s a holiday revived by a capitalistic, consumer driven society. Sure it is. Guess what! All the holidays are now. You know how to take back the holiday. Crafts! Cooking! Take a walk! Laying low! Legitimately not even caring!

What is love? (the usual song)

Ok, well, you can decide on your definition of love. But very broadly, I think we can narrow it down to the effects of kindness. One of the best ways to deal with pressure-filled days is with kindness. Being kind to yourself, to others, to the earth, etc… How do you accomplish this? Give yourself rest. Feed yourself. Play. Recognize your emotions. Consider vulnerability on this love holiday. Let someone in your life know what they mean to you. (Gratitude, you guys). Find a place in your paper heart for understanding.

Here’s a Kindness Bingo Board from Highlights Magazine. Surprise! I can’t find Kindness Bingo Boards for adults. I think we know that this is indicative of what’s missing out there in the world. (answer: Kindness! And Play!) Anyway, if someone reading this really wants to use it and is a grown up, it can definitely be adapted. Feel free to contact me for some brainstorming.

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